Thursday, August 7, 2008

Comparipost #3: Nose Hair Plucking vs. Bikini Wax

There are many things in this life that I would not wish my worst enemies to have to go through, much less a friend. Among these things include having a heart dug out with a spoon, a fishhook in the eye, grenade shrapnell in the tongue, and having nose hairs plucked. This does not go well with the fact that I get 100% annoyed when occasionally a nose hair of mine outgrows it's home and makes it way to the outer border of my nostril. Several times while driving I have taken a look in the rear view mirror to switch lanes and found a pestering little hair poking it's head out to test me. I really struggle to resist having the urge to reach up and rip it out. When I have failed to resist yanking it out, my wife has worried for her life because the car swerved uncontrollably in and out of lanes due to the agonizing pain. My eyes then swell with tears making the ability to drive even more difficult. I recently learned that many are choosing to wax their nose hairs as an alternative to plucking, but we won't go there.



After having experienced this a few times, I started to wonder what can compete with the level of suckiness that nose hair plucking qualifies for that women would more fully be able to understand. I thought of childbirth, but then realized, no, that's too easy. I then remembered hearing of friends who had chosen to get a bikini wax, and realized that I had myself a good competition. A few of the most sensitive parts of the body slowly being tortured at every pinpoint whether it be in bulk of hundreds of hairs at a time, or one dreaded hair at a time.




You are welcome to test either or both to see which you would prefer, but it is at your own risk, and this website and/or those running this website will not be held responsible for any consequences that become of those choices. The time has come for all to weigh in, and for you to decide. When you are found captive by a clan of vicious Mongolians and they give you the the following choices for methods of torture to be performed on you....What do you choose? Nose hairs being plucked one at a time, or a bikini wax?


Be sure to return on Thursday for the next Comparipost: PC vs. Mac.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

WAL-MART VS. TARGET: Showdown of the two superstores

VS.



As I am fairly confident many of the readers of this comparipost will recall, I remember the days when the word superstore did not exist. I grew up in a town where the local grocery store frequently bought fresh fruit and vegetables from local residents to place directly onto the racks to turn around and sell. I accompanied my parents on various occaisions selling squash, beans, and tomatoes to Mendenhall's market. For the weekly shopping we would travel to the local Reams, Smiths, or Storehouse Market, Maceys(No, not Macy's the department store) all of which were local grocery stores at the time, two of which are now out of business. I do not claim to be a protester of injustice with those stores as I understand the Circle of Life. Wal-Mart entered my life at the age of about 9 years old when my family moved to a larger city. I still was completely unaware of the percieved evils of Wal-Mart because the only thing I connected Wal-Mart to was the chance to see what new handheld Ninja Turtle Games had recently become available.


My first encounter with someone hating the Superstore was in my freshman english class in college when it came time to write an argumentative and three different people had to fight over who got to write on the dire need for more regulation on Wal-Marts ethics and practices. Alhough surprised, I didn't care much at the time because I had just purchased Napoleon Dynamite for $9.00 at Wal-Mart the day before. Over the past several years I have come to find many reasons why people would choose why to or not to have their loyalty remain in the doors of the store best known for always having the best prices, Yes Always per their claim. Who wouldn't love a store that makes sure you always get the best price.


Over the last few years I have been led in a different dirction of thinking. Upon marrying my wife, I found a few things started changing. I started to understand the problem with wearing slacks with Nike Basketball shoes and a T-shirt. I also started straying away from Little Caesars 5.00 pizza for a standard lunch. Among the things that I learned was the value of Target Superstore.

You see, I have always viewed Target as "the rich people's grocery store." Who would blame me. The store is extremely clean. All of the employees seem to be very presentable people with no bones in their noses and pink mo-hawks. Not only are the products not dented and torn, but they are not in their boxes on the shelves, rather they are neatly stacked and orderly. Clean white floors replaced the stained cement warehouse floor that I was so used to, and painted walls replaced the palets of stacked extra inventory. I figured the costs they had spent in having a clean store had to be incorporated in the buying of Circus Animals, Honeycombs, and of course my oh-so-coveted handheld Ninja Turtle game. My wife and I would argue about which store she would travel to in order to buy the weeks groceries, as I was so certain that the reason for our poorness was due to the weeks that she had decided to shop at Target, rather than the fact that we are just college students, and that is somewhat normal for people in this stage of life.


I argued with her about this to the point of driving her to do a comparison of costs of a list of common groceries that we would buy. She compared the total price of the list at Target, along with two other stores in the area that I have always considered to be great priced stores. I was shocked when she came back with the results that target had won the competition by about ten dollars. I argued no more, and ever since then have been enjoying the luxuries of a clean store with great products and prices.


Approximately a month and a half ago my wife chose to, as she likes to put it, make a deal with the devil, in that we decided to use a 300.00 gift card at Wal-Mart for our groceries for two months. This was a big step, in which we have learned the differences between Wal-Mart and Target. I feel the only place Wal-Mart beats Target on pricing is in Electronics and Furniture. They also have a reputation for a crazy return policy also known as the Wal-Mart Rental. Target tends to have a much better selection due to Wal-Marts strict standards of packaging, etc... that many companies fail to comply with.


Many have strong loyalties to where they will spend their money. Where are yours and why? Have you ever tried, or considered trying to cross the line? If so, what have you found? If not, I invite you to try crossing the line. You might be pleasantly surprised with what you find and may change loyalties altogether. On the other hand, the worst it could do is strengthen your loyalty to where ever it may lie. Which is better: Walmart or Target? Feel free to share personal experiences which has led you to this conclusion. The time has come for everyone to weigh in, and for you to decide.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Comparipost #1----Jack Bauer vs. Chuck Norris for Ultimate All American Hero

Throughout history there have been many hypothetical matchups between the greats in each of their pertinent fields. Mike Tyson vs. Ali. Jordan vs. Bryant. Cary Grant vs. Brad Pitt. Some of these historical anomalies will be seen in future compariposts. To start out this blog of compariposts I wanted to find a subject matter that would be full of passionate arguments and strong opinions. What better subject matter than the great comparison of one of the greatest entertainment-karate heroes to the ever so (somewhat recently) popular Jack Bauer. Take into consideration that we are matching up a fictional (but for anyone who knows him, so very real) character in Jack Bauer against many fictional characters played by a single real being.

Chuck Norris is most well known for his roles in Delta Force, Hellbound, Walker Texas Ranger, Top Dog, and Firewalker. Many a badguy received a taste of a swift roundhouse from the likes of Chuckies Black or Brown boots depending on what matched is current attire. It is his relentless ability to royally kick butt that has earned him such amazing jokes as "When Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean he doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris." It has been said that Chuck Norris can speak braille and that he has counted to infinity....twice.

In Contrast, it is rumored that the contender, Jack Bauer, beat out George Washington in the general presidential election of 1789, however congress would not allow a figure who had not been born yet to be sworn into office. Jack Bauer can get out of being trapped in a solid cement block with his hands tied behind his back. Never has such enthusiasm risen for an American television hero as the following that this ever-so-human man has received, including the like of MacGyver and HeMan. Who knows how long ago America would have fallen had it not been for the heroics of such a great man.

Now, put the two in an Iron Maiden together and see which one comes out alive. As actually completing this project of discovery would violate federal law, we leave it up to hypotheticals and argument. It is for all to put in their two bits, weigh in, but for you to decide. Who is the greatest All-American Hero? Let the debate begin!!!